Cautious But Hopeful

After a six-week break, I lit the torch again a couple of days ago.  And it felt.....wonderful.

I've been really depressed this last several weeks, as you probably saw in posts before this. My life has been in turmoil, and the break I took was nothing like a vacation. I've been looking for a job, and while I knew it would take awhile to find something, I didn't realize just how hard it would be.  I've really been dragging my feet. It's probably because I just don't want to give up on beadmaking as my career. 

I can't say I've made up my mind at all as to what I think I should do these days.  All I know is that I finally was able to make beads without bursting into tears.

The colors I am using are dark - my mood is dark - but the creating brought me some peace and some hope.  So I am going to continue to try.

I think I might even put some beads up for sale soon - maybe on Etsy.  Just to test the waters again.  The summer was incredibly slow, sales-wise, but the grapevine is saying that people are starting to want to buy beads again.

So maybe this is another chance for me to start again - somewhat refreshed and hopeful. I would like nothing more than to keep making beads and make somewhat of a living at it.  I feel like that's where I belong. But a bunch of things need to happen for that to become my reality again.

I need to get out more - see people, socialize.  Maybe attend shows and meetings, etc.  My sales need to be decent enough to pay the bills.  My muse needs to hang out in the studio more often. And so on.

So I am cautiously optimistic. And kind of embarrassed and my constant indecision. And hopeful that people won't judge me too harshly.

Last Tuesday I made beads with black, white and grey glass.  They turned out really pretty.  :) Pics to come soon.